The Birds

Today has been a bit of a weird day.

I was standing in my kitchen warming a bottle for my son, when I hear a rapping noise at the window. The noise sounded a lot like when my cat appears from the blinds in the window (they are thick & heavy vertical blinds), but when I looked over, she wasn't there, so I carried on with what I was doing. All of the sudden I hear it again. I looked out to find a bunch of magpies flying up to the window (at my face) and hanging out on the roof of the garage picking at whatever they could find. It was almost like being in "The Birds"...a bit freaky, I have to say. This explains all the strange noises I have been hearing during the day.

In the summer, we get a bunch of birds around here. Blue Jays, Sparrows, Robins, Pigeons and now Magpies. They usually enjoy playing and frolicking on the deck in the backyard. Now they have taken up scaring the poop out of me by flying past and up to the dining room window (where I sit on my computer) pounding on it and the side of the house. At least I don't have to put up with feeling bad for the poor Robin's & Sparrows that get scared off by the dive bombing, bastard Blackbirds that have infested my parents yard. However, my Dad feels this odd sense of joy by taking a pellet gun to the trees to scare them off and give the "good birds" back their homes. He gets a little nuts.

Don't these annoying creatures have better things to do, like build a nest or something? GO SCARE THE YAPPY NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOR'S DOG!

I can't wait until the creepy neighbor gets his trusty and LOUD bug zapper out and running. The damn thing sounds like an air compressor. Makes those hot summer nights unbearable when you open up every available window, wishing for that slight breeze to cool you off and you find a load in your shorts when that damn thing zaps a stray cat or something. You need ear plugs living next to this guy. He CONSTANTLY finds some loud summer project to do. Last year it was building his kids a playhouse and installing a hot tub. It's bad enough when you have every damn kid out and about yelling & screaming at the top of their lungs until 8 or 9pm, then you get this assmuncher building the playhouse until 11 or so. The year before that, it was installing and adjusting his satellite dish with a bunch of numbskulls who have walkie talkies only to yell to eachother (1 or 2 of them outside yelling to someone inside) wondering if they got a signal and which direction they should position the dish. In case you were wondering, they DID use the walkie talkies...to ask the dude below them to grab them a beer.

Let's see what headache this summer brings.

GAWD, I LOVE PEOPLE!