So, I've been trying to get stuff done around the house and with a small-medium amount of success (or notice from others). I have done the whole "list" thing but as we all know, writing lists can be a 'chore' and feel like a 'chore' as well when you see the overwhelming amount of "TO DO'S" you have to get done.
What ever happened to the fun lists of things to do? You know the ones...where you get special treats for cleaning your room, picking up your toys, brushing your teeth, etc... Why does no one care anymore when I do those things? I suppose I could make myself a fun "TO DO" list and once I get so many things done, I get a treat! However, it's still more fun when someone else notices your accomplishments and praises you for them. Oh well. I guess that's what being a Mommy is all about. You are the 'behind the scenes' person that no one ever really credits. All the stuff
It's just frustrating when you get told that if you are a stay at home parent, that's not a job because there isn't a paycheck, YET when things need to be done around the house, it's YOUR JOB to get them done! Go figure. I forgot that being a stay at home parent is the easiest job ever. The amounts of stress don't compare to those from a 9-5 job...you know, the jobs you get to LEAVE everyday, take breaks from and for most, get the weekends off. Depending on the type of job, I'd say both are equally stressful.
Don't get me wrong, being a stay at home parent is the greatest job in the world and I wouldn't trade it for anything. It's just that I would like to get the proper credit and recognition for the things I do, the stresses I have and the fact that being a stay at home parent is hard work and neverending. Sure, I may not get a paycheck for the stuff that I do, but watching my kids grow and learn, knowing that I helped them get to where they are is better than any paycheck.
I am tired of being 'expected' to do all this stuff with little to no help. It's also annoying that I get a bunch of pokes of how the house looks, all the stuff in it and how it's not all organized, yet there is NOTHING said about all the stuff I have been doing to fix it. Pisses me off, especially when I am doing it all by myself.
I am not going to turn into someone I am not. His Mother for one (not that there is anything bad about her, but she used to clean up ALL their messes so they didn't have to). I refuse to pick up after everyone without a word and let them grow up thinking everything just magically gets done. I don't want my boys thinking that's what a Mom or Wife is for.
"Hmmm, let's make a sandwich and leave all the crumbs on the counter. Next time Mom goes in there, she'll clean it up."
"Take my dishes in the kitchen? But it's so far away...Mom will do it."
"Take things out and conveniently forget where they go again? That's ok...Mom knows where it's supposed to be, she'll fix it."
Anyone have any tips or suggestions on what to do? There seems to be no talking...as it never goes well and I end up being the bad guy who expects too much.
UGH UGH UGH!!!
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
To De-Clutter Or Not To De-Clutter...
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Who ever said that being a stay at home mom wasn't a job ought to be shot. What the "bleep"! My husband tried that once and I literally got up one day and left him with the kids all day without a vehicle (& we have terrible bus service) and let him have a full day to experience what I go through. I even left him a list of things that had to get done that day. He didn't do anything, except feed and change the kids but he did get a bit of an understanding of what I go through. When I came home I acted just like he did and wow, what an attitude change when the shoe was on the other foot! Now we have an agreement that we will clean up after ourselves and help eache other with the kids. We also got the kids involved to start cleaning up after themselves - you know putting toys away in the toy box, putting crayons in the bucket. We made it a game. By the way - I do treat myself cause no one is going to treat me except for me. I go for a massage once a month for just me time. It's amazing - you have to try it.
As for the mother in law (MIL) (I'm assuming that's who you're talking about) - I had kinda the same problem. My MIL kept wanting to be in my husband's life and know when he was working, what he was doing and when he was coming over next - do you read anything about me in this? She called one day and asked the usual. When I told her that he couldn't come to the phone cause he was busy (he wasn't, he was watching tv) she asked if he was coming over on the weekend as usual. When I told her no because he was working she got quite put out that she wasn't informed of the schedule change. I asked her why she needed to know and she said that she liked to know when he was working so she new what was going on in his life. I "advised" her that all she had to do was to call anytime and we would be happy to tell her. She's never asked for his schedule since. I told him what happened and you could almost see the relief in his face. Still don't completely understand it but we have no real problem now.
There's my advice.
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