Overwhelmed

Well, these past few days have been a little on the emotional side for me. With the passing of a dear family friend to writing a piece to go onto the MADD (Mother's Against Drunk Driving) website. I am tired and overwhelmed.

The funeral went well. The family seems to be hanging in and even mustered up a few smiles. I was doing ok through out the service until the slide show came on. That's when I lost it. Not only were they showing pictures of Shirley's life, but they were doing so to songs like "What A Wonderful World" "Angel" & "Will You Remember Me". Thankfully there were a few funny pictures in there to giggle at.

Yesterday I recieved a phone call from a friend asking me to do up a piece to be added to Mikey's picture on MADD's website. She had sent me an e-mail a while back, I flagged it with the intent on getting back to her, then forgot. I have been finding it hard to write/talk about Mikey as if I am giving a eulogy. Been there, done that. I know he's not physically here and everyone else knows that too, so why do I have to talk about him that way? I would rather talk about him like he IS still with me, because in my heart, he has never left. So, to go with the flow of saddness that I was feeling today, rather than putting it off for another day, I tackled it and got it done.

Here it is:

"Mikey was a beautiful, intelligent and loving little boy. There was nothing he wouldn't do to make a person smile. He was my world, my love...my life & I miss him deeply. Not a single day goes by that I don't think of him, miss him and wish he were here with me.

I have always wanted to give Mikey siblings, and now that he has one, his little brother, Lucas, will never have the chance to know him, play with him and learn from him. Lucas will never get to witness just how special his big brother was to the whole family, especially to me.

Only through stories, pictures and memories will he ever have an idea.

Mikey was my Lifesaver. I have never loved someone as much as I love him. He will always & forever be unforgettable in my heart."

It's hard to write stuff to tug at heart strings and hope the message sinks in without sounding preachy and repetative.

All of this emotion has made my heart hurt and my soul worn.