Out of curiosity, how many of you out there would start dating someone barely a month after your spouse died suddenly?
Now, I don't know the full story to all this and probably never will. All of this information was gathered from both of their personal blogs, and as we all know, not everything that is personal is mentioned to the public.
All I know is they were married for 3 years and they were in the middle of building a new home. There wasn't any mention of troubles in the marriage, however, she was known to have bouts of depression (for whatever reason).
Rumor has it that she committed suicide. When he announced the news of her death, he never mentioned how she died or even gave a hint. He hasn't done a whole lot of talking about her since she passed either and it seems his friends are supporting the whole dating thing.
Now, I am a tad confused not knowing the whole story, but personally I think dating someone that soon after is a little odd. It's not like this was just a break-up, a divorce or something expected. Even if it was expected, give yourself some time to heal & deal with what happened. Now, I know there is the whole "fall down, get back up" thing, or all the other cliches that come with tragedy, but please. Whatever happened to the respect aspect of it all? I'm not saying that he shouldn't date period, just give yourself a few months. Don't fall under the pressure of rejoining the 'real world' just because everyone else sick of seeing you grieve. Believe me, I was there and it sucked. Needless to say, those people aren't your friends if they can't be bothered to hold you up for once and for however long you need. I could go on for a while about this one, but will save it for another time.
Now, I am trying to not pass judgment because I really don't know what family life was like and what happened behind closed doors. It's just that something doesn't sit right with me.
I am interested in hearing what the rest of you think. If you've been through something similar, what did you do? I won't even ask 'what would you do' because in all fairness, it's not something that can be answered until it happens. You can say one thing now and have it be something completely different once that time comes.
Feel free to say what's on you mind. Opinions are always welcome!
(Let's just be nice and respect one another's opinions)
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Right, Wrong Or Understandable? You Decide.
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2 comments:
I remember as a girl, my cousin died of cancer and within a few months her husband had remarried. There has been some speculation that he was seeing this woman while my cousin was sick. There has also been some talk that this was an agreed thing between them.
Looking from the outside in, I believe that you should show the respect to the family of your spouse before moving on with someone new. However like you said, we don't know the specifics.
Maybe her depression was as a result of his new girlfriend. Perhaps the new girlfriend was initially a friend who was an ear for the husband during the difficult times and things progressed. Who knows and we probably never will.
With his friends encouraging the relationship, that leads me to believe that there's a lot more going on then we'll ever know.
It's a very strange situation and definitely one that hits the morality issue for people.
Well its hard to say because i dont know the person but my guess is that he is trying to replace his spouse to help ease the pain. Just an assuption...like i said...i dont know the person so i may be way wrong but keep in mind everyone has a different way of dealing with loss. Personally, i could never date that soon...i would want to be alone for a long period of time and im talking years here but thats me.
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